Last week, I went to Manhattan and walked up four flights of stairs to a busy OB/GYN office. My feet dragged – who wants get a Pap smear? – but I dutifully registered, filled out the forms and headed to the exam room.
A few minutes later, the door opened and a medical assistant showed up. I expected him to tell me to lie down so we could get down to business, but instead he asked me softly, “Would you rather start with the breast exam or the pelvic exam?” Pleasantly surprised to have the option, I opted for the breast exam. As I placed each arm over my head, she explained that she was looking for lumps or skin abnormalities and gave me tips on how to do the same at home in the shower. Next, we move on to the pelvic exam. “First, I’m going to stick two gloved fingers into your vagina and then press down from the outside. I’m feeling the size and shape of your uterus and ovaries…” Throughout the exam, she explained every movement she made, how things felt, what she was paying attention to, and what she was seeing.
Honestly, I was amazed. During the examination I realized that it was the first time that a gynecologist had really He walked me step by step through what was happening. And I’m 47 years old and I’ve had two children! I’ve always trusted my doctors and nurses, of course, but during each annual gynecological appointment, I would simply “lie back and think of England,” as the saying goes, with fingers and specula inside me and a fluorescent overhead light shining in my eyes. This was the first time a date went with such kindness and direct communication. In my blue cotton robe and nothing else, lying vulnerable with my legs spread, I felt deeply respected and completely safe.
So thank you to the wonderful physical assistant who, during her busy day in downtown Manhattan, is responsible for treating each patient as a whole person. I am especially happy for all the teenagers and young women who will know her over the years. What a beautiful example you are setting for them about how people can and should treat you and your body. xoxo
On a similar note, this made me laugh: “I have a friend who is an OB nurse,” Katie commented on big salad. “She just got a vanity plate that says SCOOTDOWN, and it’s delicious.”
Thoughts? Do you have love notes for people who have loved you? Do any readers have careers in the medical field?
PS 11 burning questions for an OB-GYN, five ways to teach children about consent, and why I regularly talk about menstruation with my children.
(Top photo by Sergey Melnikov/Stocksy).
